Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Dan Aykroyd, Crystal Skulls and Antihistamines

Last September UFO nut/paranormal activity enthusiast/ghostbuster Dan Aykroyd came to Washington State Liquor Store #101 to promote his new brand of celebrity vodka.

By the time I arrived there was a line of aging super-fan-ish SNL fans stretching circles around the block, apparently unaware that the man had given up his comedic past to dedicate the remainder of his terrestrial existence to lobbying for a seat on the departing Mothership.

When you get some free time, watch his self-produced documentary Dan Aykroyd:Unplugged for more details straight from the man himself.

Dan was dressed conspicuously incognito at his own event: navy blue windbreaker and matching nylon pants, large aviator sunglasses, and a low mesh ball cap.

It could have taken hours to wait through the line just for a handshake and an autograph, so I gave up on my hopes of getting him drunk and probing him for galactic secrets of the little grey men. I just bought his booze and went home.

Using ancient forgotten technologies, the silica molecules of the sparkling, skull-shaped Crystal Head bottle are all mystically aligned with the mysteries of the unknown. When Mr. Aykroyd stands upon the peak of the pyramid of Giza and sings a precise frequency, all of our bottles will vibrate, the skies will divide, and our pan-dimensional overlords will guide us toward our new found path of enlightenment

I refilled mine with DayQuil.


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