Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Sputnik was the first man-made satellite to orbit the earth. It was a 24 inch aluminum sphere. It did not observe. It did not collect. It could not be controlled in any way. All it ever did was beep with the simplest of radios so that it could be tracked. The battery for the beeping mechanism ran out in 12 days and the entire satellite burned away to vapor in the upper atmosphere within 8 weeks as if it had never existed. That October in 1957 it was considered the peak of scientific achievement and yet it was never designed to have an actual function.

It's sole purpose was to prove that it existed, and in doing so it brought American pride to it's knees.

Some objects are physical and yet exist solely on a symbolic plane.

Searching for such a thing is what we call a quest.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Public Service Announcement

Normal people have free time. Writers only have time they should be writing.
Consider a career in chemical engineering.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Lost in a Hypothetical Detox

Fans have been patiently awaiting Dr. Dre's album Detox since he gave it a name 10 years ago. But don't worry. This is nothing like GnR's Chinese Democracy. Whereas Axl Rose labored for 17 years caking overdubs over horrible songs, trying to polish shit into diamonds, Dre admitted that he's put in under five months working on Detox. He told Vibe that"...actual work time on The Chronic was nine months and actual work time on my last album, 2001, was about 10 months. The actual work time on this album is about half of that, where I’m seriously focusing on it. There is always something coming up."

Dre needs to be warned that
thinking about making stuff does not make him a conceptual artist.

Thinking is great, but it's a slippery slope. If your mind carries more momentum than your feet you can find yourself tumbling and falling in love with an idea. At that point, any attempt to draw it out into the real world will result in an imperfect mockery of your wonderous vision.

The fact that he hasn't actually made much of his next project didn't stop Dr. Dre from telling the magazine all about his next next project. Here's how he describes it:

"I want to call it
The Planets. I don’t even know if I should be saying this, but fuck it. [Laughs.] It’s just my interpretation of what each planet sounds like. I’m gonna go off on that. Just all instrumental. I’ve been studying the planets and learning the personalities of each planet. I’ve been doing this for about two years now just in my spare time so to speak. I wanna do it in surround sound. It’ll have to be in surround sound for Saturn to work."

Sometimes a thought can be enough. I hope he doesn't tarnish the awesomeness of that description by actually making any of it.

Honorificabilitudinitatibus Logophilism

Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg is a lake in Massachusetts.

Monday, August 2, 2010


Music based on drum machines and loops is danceable cyber-anthropology.
Dancing to it is enjoyable mechanized ritual but not celebration.