Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Cross-Dressing Time Traveler Attended Charlie Chaplin Premier

The following may be footage of a transgendered time traveler attending the 1928 premier of Charlie Chaplin's "The Circus". George Clark, the filmmaker who discovered this ten second bit of footage takes over 8 minutes to explain that he "can't explain it." My guess is that George is not a film editor or screenwriter. Perhaps he's a special effects man.

If she's on a cell phone, who do you think she is calling? How many other cell phone users could there have been in 1928, and how powerful does a cellular tower need to be to cast service 80 years into the past? AT&T had to have charged some serious roaming fees for that call.

Plan Ahead For Randomness

The treadmill toward a nonsensical tomorrow is accelerating exponentially. The only way to stay successful and sane is to become a futurist who embraces the absurd.

(image: Singularity Chess via Let the Finder Beware)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

We're Getting Better At Time

As a species of unrivaled ambition we will not rest until we have conquered forces we are only vaguely aware of.

Like the 2 dimensional creatures from Edwin Abbott's Flatland, who were taunted by the god-like beasts from our 3 Dimensional world, invisible someones are toying with us from the higher dimension outside of time. They push and pull the narratives of our lives into different arcs like sculptors, applying and taking away free will from us on a case by case basis as an aesthetic choice.

Our temporal overlords cast shadows in our subconscious, and we secretly aspire to displace them.

Thank you for your spacetime.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Happy 10th Birthday, Kid A! You're Almost in Middle School Now.

We've got heads on sticks. You've got ventriloquists.
We've got HandiSnacks. You've got Shark Bites.

I'm sure we can come to an arrangement.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Phantom Power

The following is a public service announcement in honor of Halloween.

Ghosts are zero footprint, but not zero carbon footprint. Ghosts are powered through the energy loss we call drag or friction. Wind resistence is actually matter moving through crowds of disembodied souls as they leach away inertia to fuel their ghoulish missions.

To save our environment I propose we kill all the ghosts.