Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Future Will Be Frilly

Design will completely change as 3D printers become more readily available. For the last hundred years all affordable objects have been minimal, sleek, or utilitarian due to the restrictions of mass manufacturing practicality.

Soon most people will have access to 3d printers, either in their own home, at the local hardware store, or online retailer. Any object will be replicated on demand with any form just as simply and cheaply as any other form, no matter how ornate.

There will be a period of time when people go overboard with impossibly complicated designs. Everything in your home will look like a doily. Residents will be able to reprint and replace any cabinet door, balcony railing, or window molding with altered biomorphic contours as they please. Entire buildings will be replaced with lacy knots bit by bit from the inside out. Condo buildings will be coral reefs of ornate calcified secretions, and it's human inhabitants merely fleshy polyps lost in the visual overload.

Welcome to the Neo-Rococo.

*See also: Future-Father Neo Rococo Movement

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Ergosphere of Investigation

I have been doing some casual research into John Titor, who claimed to be a real life time traveler. He posted on online message boards back in 2000 and then headed back to his home in the year 2036. He is a common subject on sites devoted to conspiracy theories and unexplained phenomenon and many fanatics believe that he left clues for us that predicted disasters such as the attacks of September 11th 2001.

On the message boards, John provided links to lectures on Kerr Black Holes. A Kerr Black Hole has a rotating singularity and two event horizons. The outer event horizon marks the boundary within which an observer cannot resist being pulled along with with warping space-time. The inner event horizon marks the boundary from within which an observer cannot escape. The volume between the event horizons is known as the ergosphere.

When investigating the fringe, feel free to go beyond mere curiosity, but put the retrorockets on full if you feel yourself creeping dangerously close to Belief.

Keep it in the ergosphere.

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Schwartchild Proton

Inside the nucleus of every atom is a tiny blackhole.

Just so's you know.

Family Gathering Tip #37

When avoiding heated discussions with relatives, remember that deciding a topic is apolitical can be the most provocative of political actions.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Gravity Reversal: Are You Prepared?

"Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself?" - Chris Knight, Real Genius

I periodically sit upside down in my couch with my back to the cushions and feet to the ceiling like Mork from Ork and make plans for the reversal of gravity. I fear being outside when the disaster happens and falling endlessly into the sky, passing out as air thins and my unconscious body freezing in the outer stratosphere.

When I first heard Val Kilmer read the quote above I felt justified in my fear. It was a thing. Others think about it as well.

I've found mentions here and there on websites devoted to unusual phobias, but it doesn't seem to have a name yet. I am going to call it anti-barophobia. Barophobia being the fear of gravity, my alteration could mean the fear of anti-gravity.

Now that I have named my fear, how do I confront it? Can anyone truly prepare for the irrational?

I am hereby starting an organization of one to tackle this problem. I am The Foundation for Anti-Barophobia. At FFAB Our plan is twofold.

1. We oppose the work of pseudoscientists experimenting in the fake field of anti-gravity research. They are tampering with volatile imaginary elements capable of untethering the weak force that binds our universe together.

2. We will conduct disaster-readiness experiments and demonstrations with the goal of educating the public.

rotating kitchen from Zeger Reyers on Vimeo.

There is no way of stopping that which will never happen. We can only anticipate and make sure that when the day that will never come comes we can laugh at all the fools falling into the sun. As the white knuckles of the unprepared uncurl from the tops of lamp posts and they slip like a rock out of the breathable atmosphere I will turn down my stereo lean out my upside down window and scream after their flailing bodies, "Told ya!"

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Behavioral Pavement

Originality is taking a machete to the untouched overgrowth of the future. A faint trail is left by the innovative, and every subsequent action there wears a wider path through the wilds of history. Some paths turn out to be more popular than others and specific actions are repeated in specific locations again and again, wearing down the fabric of potential at that location. It's like laying down behavioral pavement. Eventually, nothing can happen in that space except hollow reenactment.

Places get haunted and we get possessed.

In the spirit of ghost-hunting, Abbey Road Studios have installed a live webcam on the famed crosswalk outside their walls to capture this phenomenon.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Love In The Infinite Multiverse

In a footnote to his New York Times Essay, The Ashtray, filmmaker Errol Morris recently stated,

One way to think about possible worlds is in the context of love. For
example, people often ask: would you still love me if I were poor? Would you
still love me if I had no arms? And so on and so forth. They are asking a
question about possible worlds. That possible world in which you have no
arms. Or that possible world in which you are poor. Or perhaps even that
possible world in which you are poor and have no arms.

If the answer to all these questions is "yes", then the lovers can be reassured that their love is an eternal constant between all possible universes, making them more secure in their love for each other. If the answers are "no" they can be assured that they exist in the correct iteration all the infinite possible universes, because in this one they are together.

Love aligns our place within the infinite multiverse.