Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Consequences Of The Multiverse on a Marriage

Waking James was faithful to a fault while Dream James was a cold philanderer. Sweet and timid by day, cruel and blunt by night. Dream James would fuck Hillary's co-workers and sisters, mentors and students all right in front of her before admitting to her what a lousy lay she had always been.

These were not James' dreams. They were Hillary's.

James was the perfect man and, as such, she felt as though she had no grounds on which to divorce him. Her unconscious tried and tried to convince her that he was too good to be true. That he must be hiding a double life.

She felt guilty for wanting out of a happy marriage. Wanting out tormented her. His goodness was reinforced. Her badness was reinforced. It was a feedback loop that resulted in the disintegration of her self-worth. She became a bad woman who did not deserve her good man.

One December afternoon she invited Mr. Pham, the mailman into their house to warm up. She made him hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows. Before the marshmallows had melted she had already slipped his navy blue work pants around his ankles, lifted her flowered skirt and slipped him inside of her. They were done fucking before their drinks were cool.

Hillary poured his hot chocolate into a plastic solo cup, tried to lift his mailbag back over his shoulder, and shooed Mr. Pham out the front door.

When James got home from work he found a good portion of his wife's possessions were missing and two notes were waiting for him under fridge magnets.

The first one said, "Dear James, I've been bad."

The second letter: "Dear Other James, You had it coming."


  1. haha :) this is awesome. there are no comments about this. ??

    you're one of the coolest people ive seen online so wtf.

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